I wish I was a shark

Ever since I was a kid I’ve always wanted to be a shark. People would ask me “What do you want to be when you grow up ?” “I wanna be a shark ! A shark !”
Here I am, 24 years – still a fucking human. But how could I achieve this dream ? I mean couldn’t it be possible to somehow transplant my excellent brain into a shark ? But sharks don’t have the same brains as humans, so there’s a big fat question mark on how to achieve this. Could I somehow extract my conciousness, transform it into liquid form, fill it up in a small container and then inject this liquid-conciousness into the brain of a shark? Because you know, I kinda want to be aware that I’ve become a shark – I still want to be me.. Only a shark.
If not hi-tech works, maybe I’ll turn religious and go out Hindu style ? Because Hinduism says that if I do nice things I’ll become something better in my next life. But do I get to choose ? If that’s the case, couldn’t I just go out and do REALLY nice things for a whole weekend, then shoot myself, pick “shark” from some old ancient list and then BAM ! Shark-time ! Is this how it works ?
Well I have no fucking idea on how to achieve this, it makes me really sad. I’m 100% serious about this – I KNOW there is a way ,there must be. The truth is out there, could you find it for me Mulder ?
Damn right you’ll need a bigger boat you fucking cunts !
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About Fox

Fox filé
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